Quickie Post

So I think I'm going to start a nail polish blog.
I love nail polish, and I've realized as of late that I would have no problem making it something I pursue and hopefully earn money doing in the future. I've found a passion besides dance which blows my mind but I'm so excited!!
Just thought I would let you all know. :)

-Liz

Things are changing.

I love him. I friend love him.

I'm falling in love with him. Just like I told myself not to.

He's had this plan for the past 5 years.

I have no fucking clue what to do.

I want him to stay.

I want him to leave.

I don't know if I would go with him if he asked me.

I won't let him not go if I was the only thing keeping him here.

I honestly don't think he would do that anyways.

The idea of him leaving is breaking me from the inside out and I am so mad at myself for letting that happen.

He has so much to offer to other people.

He's so full of adventure.

Our feelings AREN'T mutual.

I don't think I can survive another one.

I don't know if I should treasure the time I have left with him, or end if before it hurts more.

I'm selfish in the way that I'd rather feel nothing than anything at all.

It's been a pretty minute.

Well hello world.

I write in a journal mostly for the thoughts I don't want to share with the whole world but I feel as though I should fill you in on what's going on in my life.

Life fell apart for me for a minute.

This is what it was in my eyes when it happened.

1. I lost my job.

2. I lost my boyfriend.

3. I was broken beyond repair.

This is how it looks to me now.

1. I had an opportunity to find a job that would pay better.

2. I needed a break to find myself.

3. It was time to do some serious soul searching.

So here's my update. I have a job I'm really good at that pays well and gives me an opportunity to move up in my company. Breaking up with Keaton hurt both of us, but I needed it. I feel really bad for what I did to him, but I see now that we aren't right for each other. It's time for me to figure out who I am before I share my heart with someone else. As for my soul searching, I know myself a lot better than I used to. I know how to handle the craziness that is my life.

What I REALLY wanted to write about is what's happening now.

HALLOWEEN! Woo! Halloween isn't an excuse to dress like a slut. That's what the weekend is for. I just painted my nails orange and black and they're adorable. I also curled my hair today for the first time in like, 3 years. It's just as cute as I remember.

This has literally been a word vomit. I just wanted to get everything in my head out.

Before I depart, I want to share a quote with you.

"A woman has got to love a bad man

once or twice in her life to

be thankful for a good one."

This makes a whole lot of sense. I'm young. I'm 18. I don't need to go looking for the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. What I do know is that when he comes around, I'll know he's the right one. Byee!

I know what I want.

I want someone. I want the following.

Someone that will let me pick the same song over and over again and let me kill it for both of us.
Someone who won't try to cheer me up all the time. Sometimes I just want to sit and cry on you.
Someone who will text me and let me know why they like me, and even love me.
Someone who might surprise me at work with food because they know the way to my heart.
Someone who will make fun of me and let me make fun of them. In a cute way.
Someone who understands that I don't want to be with them all the time.
Someone who will make me try new things even if I think I'll hate them.
Someone my cats like.
Someone who likes my cats.
Someone who can surprise me with little things.
Someone who tells me I'm pretty.
Someone who says my eyes are pretty when I cry. Even if I think it's weird for a second.
Someone who will be honest with me. Tell me I look like a whale. A radiant one.
Someone who can motivate me.
Someone who won't sugar coat everything.
Someone who will leave me little notes when they get the chance.
Someone I feel I can actually have a future with.
Someone who appreciates my taste in movies. Up, specifically.
Someone who can forgive me when I mess up.
Most of all though... I want someone to love with all my heart, and have them love me back.

Ya know, the more I think about it, the more I realize who I'm talking about.


He's probably never going to read this. But that's my luck right?

Holy snip snap life is good.

SO.

Big Events:
1. I turn 18 in 8 days!!
2. I got a job at Trafalga(!!!).
3. My best friend in the world tagged me in her blog so I'm replying.

Danielle Zeeee. She's my best friend. Has been since fifth grade. Secretly we've known each other since fourth grade but we hated each other due to cliques. She is my anchor. That may not make sense, but when ever my life has gotten crazy and I don't know what I'm doing I can just call or text Danielle and she's like,

"You know what? Stop worrying you crazy girl."

And for some reason, everything just slows down. That's when I'm like,

"You know what? You're healthy for me. Let's hang out."

To be completely honest, we usually never end up hanging out but it's really the thought that counts. She's picked me up from a lot of dark places; no matter what I've done, did or was doing at that exact moment, she never judged me. Yes, she may not approve of me sometimes, but she's been the best friend I've ever had. She'll be at my wedding. I'll be at her reception. Deal.

She mentioned me in her last blog which you can read at http://talktilyoudrop.blogspot.com/?spref=fb. It reminded me how much I freaking love that girl. She's never been anything but golden to me and she really does deserve the best anyone can get. I'm lucky to have her as a friend and she's the greatest girl EVAR.

Oh life.

College is not the same as high school and I NEED to get that mind set in my brain.

BUT.

I love it more than anything.

It's funny that cancer is a good way to make friends.

I need a job. Blarg.

I love you though. :)

P.s I do not need a significant other. They just make life confusing and such.

P.p.s I feel better. Closure is nice.

Quickie.

Just a quick little update on my life since I suck at blogging:

1. I hate my job.

2. Mitch and I broke up.

3. My sister is moving back home. (!!!)

4. I start college in like, a week.

5. I have Anxiety

6. I hate my job.

Mostly this is so I can reference back to it later and write more about it. ANYways, goodbye.

I'm about to go to work and hate my life. Byeeeeee.