I'm falling in love with him. Just like I told myself not to.
He's had this plan for the past 5 years.
I have no fucking clue what to do.
I want him to stay.
I want him to leave.
I don't know if I would go with him if he asked me.
I won't let him not go if I was the only thing keeping him here.
I honestly don't think he would do that anyways.
The idea of him leaving is breaking me from the inside out and I am so mad at myself for letting that happen.
He has so much to offer to other people.
He's so full of adventure.
Our feelings AREN'T mutual.
I don't think I can survive another one.
I don't know if I should treasure the time I have left with him, or end if before it hurts more.
I'm selfish in the way that I'd rather feel nothing than anything at all.
